It’s Tuesday again, which means ANOTHER Top 10 Tuesday. Today is a special day since I am joining other bloggers around the blogosphere for the Special Needs Blog Hop. I am excited to get to be a part of this. So today we will be talking about the top 10 worries and frustrations for parents of high and special needs. I am also adding a bonus mindset shift for us to use when we start to feel the worry or frustration. So without further ado, let’s get into it.
1. My Kid Won’t Fit In.
This can be hard. None of us want our children to be teased or bullied, and sometimes it can seem overwhelming. We know we can’t control other people, but we want to fix things and make everything better for our children. Mindset Shift: Spend time with your child, talk to them and compliment them often. Bring their strengths to the forefront and show them how others can help them where they need it, after all, isn’t that what life is about???
2. IEP Meetings are the Worst!!!
We worry about what will be said. We worry about them taking away some of the accommodations made. Sometimes, we even worry they will decide our child no long qualifies for an IEP. It can be daunting and scary and very frustrating. Mindset Shift: When I am worried about goals or things with therapies or our IEP I remind myself how lucky we are to even have these things called IEP’s in our schools. Think back to when our parents were children, chances are, they didn’t have the same help as we do now. Reminding myself that others have gotten through it before without as much help, means I can certainly get through this, and be thankful for it.
3. I’m Sooo Tired!!!
This was me, from the time Kira was about 2 until… well… somedays it is STILL me. It is draining. There are extra things to think about or consider, plans need to be made with care. We don’t get a break unless they are sleeping, and then, well there is all the work I couldn’t get done while they were awake. It really truly can be exhausting. Mindset Shift: I may be exhausted, but I am not alone. There is never a dull moment, and I have a child who loves me unconditionally. That is sooo much to be thankful for.
4. My House is a MESS!!!
Messy houses can cause a lot more unpleasant issues. It starts with being too tired to clean, then snowballs into the kids tearing up paper and hoarding it under their beds, and the couch, and everywhere else. Dishes piled in the sink, and we won’t even talk about the last time we actually cleaned the products out of the medicine cabinet. We feel overwhelmed, we stress out, we react to the stress which stresses us out even more. I have been there on more than 1 occasion. Mindset Shift: We have a house to live in, a roof over our heads, food in our refrigerator (and possibly smeared on the walls), we have love and laughter and family. Things really could be much worse.
5. My Child Will Never Live an Independent Life
Remember when your child was first born or came into your life??? All we wanted to do was spend every moment with them. We wanted to take in all their firsts and be there for every lesson learned. When you received the diagnosis, you may have tried to shrug it off that it is no big deal. They are your child and you would do anything for them because you love them. Then some years down the road, you start to realize THIS is all your life will ever be. Your child will never experience an independent life on their own, and you will never stop being “mommy” Mindset Shift: It can seem daunting to realize that you will always be the one who takes care of your child. Taking a look at it another way, YOU get to help your child enjoy life. You get to be there and see the joy and happiness others don’t get to see. You get to take part in the Amazingness that is pure joy. That is pretty Awesome!!!
6. My Child Will Never Experience….
From the day we found out this bundle of joy was coming into the world, we dreamed of fun and laughter and success. We had a plan already in our minds for how this was going to happen. We had a career already picked out for them, the names of our grandchildren, and maybe even the house we’d visit them at envisioned. Ok, so maybe I’m exaggerating a bit, but really we dream very vividly. When something crushes that dream, it can make US feel like we failed. Mindset Shift: We need to be flexible and remember, success looks different to each of us. The life you were planning was not yours to plan to begin with. If we can connect with our children and find out what they want and what makes them happy, we might just find they are as happy as we wanted them to be.
7. I Never Get A Break
Now, I’m going to step on my own toes with this one. Do you spend so much time saying things like “Well no one can handle my child” or “my child has needs and I don’t trust them with anyone but me”??? Oh wow, I do this a lot, but when I was writing the list it very clearly came to me the way I need to change my mindset… are ya’ll ready for this??? Mindset Shift: Quit being a martyr. Yeah, that was pretty intense, but just hear me out. I’m not saying drop your kids at the drop in daycare and relax, but we all have that one friend or family member who is always saying, ya know, if you ever need a sitter, I wouldn’t mind. We say to ourselves “oh I don’t want to inconvenience anyone, my kids won’t want to stay or other excuses we make for ourselves. STOP, find 1 person you feel comfortable at least teaching the ways to take care of your child and get a well-deserved break. You can even stay home and just take a bath, or an uninterrupted nap. Just get a break.
8. (Fill in the blank) Subject at School is too Hard for My Kiddo.
The struggle is real. We want our children to be successful, have an education, and the foundation to a great life ahead. Then we realize, reading with our child makes us crazy. We get frustrated that we can’t help, and then worried they won’t have as amazing of a life without said skill. Mindset Shift: We need to remember the whole strengths and weaknesses thing. I understand, it is frustrating that your child has trouble with reading, math, or writing, but, your child does have strengths. Reminding them of the things they are good at, and encouraging them to keep trying can make all the difference. Make sure they also know how much you believe in them. If it helps, also think of ways your child can excel in life with their strengths, you might start to see what you were so worried about really isn’t that big of a deal.
9. I Just Want to Fix Everything For My Child.
Every parent can relate to this one. We all want our children to have an amazing, happy, and fulfilling life. I find it hard to watch when my children are hurt or frustrated. We want the magic wand to just make it all better. Mindset Shift: So, while we can’t always make everything all better, we can help our child with the problem. While our children need to learn problem-solving skills, that doesn’t mean they need to figure it out completely on their own. Help your child brainstorm ideas and solutions. Show them how to figure out which ideas would work best. Then, be there when they try out their solution. If it works, praise. If it didn’t work teach resilience and go back to the drawing board to find another solution.
10. I Feel Like This Is All My Fault.
This is one that we all go through at one point or another. We all wonder, what we could have done different, or how could we have not seen this coming. Playing the blame game and blaming ourselves can cause LOTS of problems down the road too. Mindset Shift: Instead of thinking of all the ways things are bad or wrong, focus on the good. Focus on the uniqueness and the individuality your child brings to the table. Stop blaming yourself and start realizing that you have a very wonderful unique child in your care. Different is NOT a bad thing.
Those are my top 10 and the mindset shifts to help you change the way you see things. Did you get any aha moments in these??? Let me know in the comments.
Welcome to Voices of Special Needs Blog Hop — a monthly gathering of posts from special needs bloggers hosted by The Sensory Spectrum and The Jenny Evolution. Click on the links below to read stories from other bloggers about having a special needs kiddo — from Sensory Processing Disorder to ADHD, from Autism to Dyslexia!
So, I don’t think I have done much of a clear update on the blog in a while now. There is so much going on. I have amazing people I am working with and it really feels like we are finally getting things going. So, what exactly IS Journey to the New Normal???
- My personal journey
- My family’s journey
- A Blog to help parents mindset
- Videos and Reviews from my kids channel
- A Hub for My Tupperware & Usborne Books & More Businesses
- Here to Encourage and give you amazing value
- My Heart Put Out For ALL My Readers…
My Personal Journey
I am on a journey like no other. My desire is to help everyone who comes across this blog. There is sooo much to offer.
My personal journey through a mindset change, deciding to become a mindset coach for families with High and Special Needs
My desire to start a Nonprofit that will allow families to relax and enjoy each other without the stress. Think weekend getaway style with a chance for parents to reconnect with each other, and with siblings without high or special needs. The whole family can benefit.
My journey into a Keto lifestyle, with all the bumps and issues along the way. Also, my journey into meal prepping and trying to feed my family in a healthy, frugal, and quick manner.
My journey with homeschooling my kids. We are still unclear exactly what direction next year will take, so stay tuned for that.
My Kids Journey on YouTube
I gifted my children their very own YouTube channel for Christmas, and it has been the BEST present I have given them thus far. They are learning public speaking skills, STEAM concepts, responsibility… and more. We upload 3 days a week (Monday, Wednesday, and Friday) and I am so proud of how far they have come in just 6-7 week.
I know I had said this in my personal journey part, but I am so very excited to announce my next venture as a Mindset Coach for parents and children and the families affected by any type of high or special need. This is exciting stuff and you’ll want to stay up to date on the latest within this part of my journey… Stay Tuned!!!
SO there is my little update. I’ll be doing a bigger update Vlog in the coming days, and I will post it on the blog as well for all my readers. I am so excited for the direction my business is going in, and I can’t wait to see what happens next!!!
Did you ever stop and think about what happens when you worry about your high or special needs child??? Does worrying serve you??? Does it help you achieve a goal??? With a few exceptions, usually the answer to that question is, no. Being a parent of a high or special needs child, takes worrying to another level. So what can we do instead of worrying??? Here are 5 rules I have been trying to live by this year to help my special needs child.
1. Be Present.
When we are worrying, we are living in the future. We have taken our eyes off the present and are often trying control things that we can’t. I have done this myself quite a bit in the past (and even present). When I find myself saying things like “I wish…” and fill in the blank with something about our child, like wishing they had a normal life, could do things other kids could and all of that, I need to stop and think in the present. It isn’t always easy to stay in the present, but I find when I get to worrying to much, asking myself, will this affect life next week, helps to decide what is truly worth thinking about and what isn’t. When I think in the present I can find ways to help my child tackle that which they have trouble with.
2. Be Grateful.
So, we as parents of a high or special needs child know what it is like to live a different life. We made plans and had dreams of the life we would live only to have most of it turned upside down by reality. If you have never read the poem Welcome to Holland, it is worth the read for sure. So, what do we do when we feel like we haven’t gotten the hand we wanted dealt to us??? What do we do when we worry about our children living fulfilling lives??? We look for all the reasons we have to be grateful. We spend time thinking about all that we have, and suddenly we will start to feel much better about life. Going from worrying to being grateful also brings peace to the home, which can also help us not worry.
3. Be Optimistic.
We worry about our children’s education. Each and every one of us were born different. We all have different strengths and weaknesses. When we start focusing on our children’s strengths and finding ways to lift them up and make them feel good about themselves, we change their mindset. A changed mindset leads to growth and also more confidence which also helps with learning new skills. Mindset is AMAZING, we should always be uplifting and positive, and also help our children understand that learning takes time, but they should keep trying and they will get it.
4. Be Flexible.
This can be a difficult one. We desperately want things to be in order. We thrive off schedules and we often feel like order helps with all the other chaos our life is filled with. It can be hard to let go of the hopes and dreams we had for our child/children. Will they ever marry, will they have a job, will they be unfulfilled because they aren’t living a “normal” life??? We tend to push our idea of “happiness” and “Fulfillment” on our children. Sometimes we need to be flexible. Let our children lead, and decide what their version of happy and fulfilled is, and be thankful for that. It’s not easy to let go of our deepest desires for our children, but when we let them decide what they want their life to look like, it can become a magical time.
5. Be Encouraging.
This goes hand in hand with optimistic, but it deserves to be repeated. Encouraging our high and special needs child to do their best, to try and not give up, and to point out their strengths when they feel frustrated can really help a child keep going. We worry about them giving up, or not getting the education to help them get ahead in life. If we continue to encourage, they will get there, they will learn what they need to, to fulfill their purpose in life and be happy.
I hope this gave you some ideas on how to reframe your thinking when it comes to a high or special needs child. We as parents have the privilege and responsibility to watch our children turn into the amazing human beings they are. With our guidance, they can move mountains, and we can live an even more fulfilling life than we ever dreamed possible. How do you get past worry??? Let me know in the comments.
It happens every now and then, we have a day we don’t want to get out of bed. Somedays, it might be because the bed is warm, comfy, or the company is great. Then, there are days we just don’t want to face the day. I have had my share of “funks” and I can tell you, they suck productivity right out of you. We all have things we need to be productive at, so, here is my list of Ways to get out of a funk.
Ways To Get Out Of A Funk:
- Turn on some music.
- Have a dance party with said music.
- Take a bath or shower and relax.
- Read (for fun, or learning, just read something).
- Meditate. There are many amazing guided meditations on YouTube, or you could just focus on your breathing.
- Do a hobby you enjoy. It could be a craft or a favorite game just find the time to enjoy yourself.
- Be silly. Tell Jokes, Make funny faces, have a tickle fight, just find a way to laugh.
- Help someone. Make a meal for someone, offer to help someone clean, helping puts us in a better mood.
- Give. Find a charity, find a local organization, find a friend and give.
- Exercise. Find that old workout DVD or look up a workout video on YouTube and get moving.
- Take a Walk. Fresh air, sunshine, and nature always help us feel better
- Binge watch a favorite show. Give yourself permission to relax with some snacks and Binge your favorite sitcom.
These are just a few ideas to help you get out of a funk. Feeling our feelings is important, staying in a funk is not good. I hope these tips help you the next time you are in a funk. What do you do to help yourself get out of a funk??? I’d love to hear about it in the comments below.
So, today was ROUGH!!! I was going through some deep DEEP emotional shifts and I will just say it like this, I am happy to be on the other side, finally. It has been an incredible month so far, and I am trying to feel the feelings and energy and then put the work BEHIND the energy to keep stuff moving along. Some days, I just wanna dance party all day… but ain’t nobody got time for that.
So, I want to bring you guys a few lessons I have learned this year so far.
Lesson 1: Embrace the Energy
So I am sure by now you have realized that I do, in fact, believe that life and everything in it is made up of energy. This is something I think most people would agree with in one way or another. (I might be wrong, if you don’t believe in energy, please don’t take offense). So there is positive energy (the dance party all day kind), and then there is negative energy (the sob in your bath robe eating a gallon of ice cream kind) and then there are degrees in between. I think we often want to disregard the energy we feel. This may be because we feel there is more important work to do, or possibly because “we don’t need the negativity”. Fighting this energy, drains you… and in the end, you still end up feeling it. Embrace it, Feel it. Really get into your emotions and feel whatever it is you are feeling. Once you have truly embraced it…
Lesson 2: Journal Everything
Now, this may sound silly, but, you’ll thank me later. Taking the time to write about our feelings and how we can either harness the positive or negative energy in our favor is an AMAZING. Every day, we have the choice to get up and make the best of the day, or waste the day and the energy from it. When we choose to feel our feelings and then write about them to help give us direction in how we should proceed, we see amazing growth
Lesson 3: Move On
Once you have felt the feels and written about it, take a deep breath, and move on. Make a plan to do something you need to do. It could be as easy as doing some housework, or as involved as putting the energy to work on a major project. Then, notice how your mindset starts to shift as you go throughout the day. Does the energy even out some??? I bet it does.
So those are some of the lessons I have been learning so far this year. What lessons have you been learning??? I’d love to hear about them in the comments.
Are your kids as crazy addicted to YouTube as my girls??? They would watch YouTube ALL DAY every day if I let them. One of the things I love about YouTube though is how you can see videos from different countries and cultures. One thing has remained a constant however, those darned Surprise Egg review videos. So, if you have kids and they have seen any form of YouTube, I’m sure you are aware of those friendly plastic and sometimes play doh covered eggs with fun stuff inside. One of the things we always wanted to review though were the Kinder Surprise Eggs.
A Little Back Story:
So, Kinder Eggs or the Yummy Chocolate Eggs with the surprise toy inside have been banned from the United States for years. The toy inside was thought to be a choking hazard according to the FDA (Food and Drug Administration) and the Consumer Products Safety Commission. Recently Ferrerro announced that they are coming out with the Kinder Joy Egg. Kinder Joy Eggs are similar, but packaged differently, with the toy and food packaged separately. So, here is our review of Kinder Joy Eggs.
We all got to try the chocolate and gave it a HUGE thumbs up. It is yummy and I would totally buy it without the “surprise” part. The girls did love getting to put the toys together, and they held up fairly well considering. I think the toys are definitely not the main attraction of the Kinder Joy but they are definitely worth trying, even if it’s just once.
Find Kinder Joy at most grocery stores and big box stores. We got ours at Walgreens. Have you tried the Kinder Joy Eggs??? What did you think of them??? If not would you like to try them??? Let me know in the comments.
So, my kiddos were lucky at Christmas this year and I snagged a couple of Pley Subscription boxes as gifts for Christmas. The girls did a Fantastic job with the unboxing & review of these and I will let you see the video below
- Collectible Animal Cards
- Booklet with games and fun
- Online Mission (Think game)
- Certificate of Completion
- Figure of some kind
- Some Activities
- Pley Box turns into another toy you can color and create.
Both Pley Boxes got Thumbs up from both the girls. I’m a Disney Fanatic, so I think that one was by far the coolest, however, Kira Loved getting to learn all about other animals and habitats in the National Geographic box. I could definitely see us using the National Geographic one as a supplement if we continue to home school.
We recently signed on as VIP Affiliates for Pley and couldn’t be happier to share these amazing boxes with all our friends.
Check out Pley here. Note: we are affiliates and will make a commission off any sales made through the link below. This will not cost you any extra, but will help us pay to keep our site and YouTube Channels running.
So, I know I haven’t talked much about the Mental Health field lately or the diagnoses this blog surrounds. First of all, in my family, there are quite a bit of mental health diagnoses. For those who are not aware, I was recently diagnosed. My hubby was diagnosed as a child. My oldest is also diagnosed with ADHD as well. Here are some facts.
10 Facts About ADHD/ADD
- It is a LIFE-LONG disorder. Contrary to what many people believe, adults can struggle with it just as much as children.
- Not every case of ADHD is the same. In fact. there is no one particular model that it follows.
- People often use ADHD and ADD interchangeably. However, ADD usually refers to the inattentive form while ADHD refers to the condition including Hyperactivity.
- Women especially, go into adulthood before getting a proper diagnosis. Meds can help adults function the same way they help kids.
- Inattentive ADHD can be hard to diagnose. Many children find coping mechanisms to get through school and continue those into adulthood. It can be an incredibly eye-opening event when an older child or adult gets a proper diagnosis.
- ADHD is caused by structural, chemical, and connectivity differences in the brain, mostly genetics.
- The most effective treatments include a mixture of medication and Cognitive Behavioral Therapy or Mindfulness-based practices.
- In short, ADHD means that the brain is wired differently, and that can mean those with it may think outside the box more often.
- Hyper-focus is a part of ADHD. Just as hard as it is to concentrate at times for someone with ADHD, it can be equally as hard to switch gears once focused on something.
- ADHD can occur with other diagnoses. Sensory Processing Disorder, Anxiety, Depression, and Autism to name a few. This can make the diagnosis of any of these disorders harder. Because of this delays in the diagnosing process can occur.
For more information check out these sites:
Is there any facts you would add to this list??? Let me know in the comments.
So, here we are again, another Monday Motivation. I am so excited for this one. Sometimes, we have to jump into something even when we feel like we are gonna drown in the process. So, I am excited to announce, I’m getting back into vlogging.
For those of you who don’t know, I have a YouTube channel promoting this site. I have some vlogs and stuff on it, but I haven’t done a ton with it. Doing videos makes a lot more sense because writing takes a lot of concentration, and sometimes I don’t have that long to get my message out. So, I’m going to give you some tips on overcoming the fear of starting something new.
1. Scary can also mean motivation.
So, my first tip is to use the fear to motivate you. You can choose to be paralyzed by fear, or you can let the energy of the fear turn into excitement to fuel your new venture. Think of it as the glass half full or half empty. If the glass is half empty, that is fear. You could also look at it as the glass is half full, full of excitement and new opportunities, the choice is yours.
2. Failing is how you Succeed.
So, if there were no failures, there would be no successes. Think of this as your ticket to try something new. Things won’t always work, but you’ll never know until you try. If it works YAY!!! If not, well there is always something else you can try to take its place.
3. Collect Failures and Fail Forward.
So this is a 2 part tip. For those who have ever been in a network marketing company or direct sales company, we are told to “Go for no”. This means that we challenge ourselves to get “nos”. If you look at it as collecting things that haven’t worked, you will find that there are things that do work. Now, please don’t confuse this with negative thinking, just be ok with things not working, and excited about the things that do. As far as failing forward, always find a lesson to come away from your failures with, and then learn from it.
So, now that I have given you some tips on fear and trying something new, what new thing are you going to tackle this week??? Tell me all about it in the comments.
It’s 7:00 AM. I need to get up and start my day. The need to get up before the children is real, and I must now get up so I can get them up soon. However, I stay in bed. It’s so warm and cozy, and just 15 minutes while I’m doing my gratitude and meditations is fine, right??? Then I wake up 2 hours later, late and in a panic… Tell me I’m not the only one procrastination gets the best of.
Why Do We Procrastinate???
Reasons for procrastinating are numerous. Any or all of these could be a reason you procrastinate:
- Fear of Success or Failure.
- Underlying emotional issues.
- Not taking care of yourself.
- Taking on too much.
Tips For Overcoming Procrastination!!!
- Figure out how you procrastinate. Is it the same things??? Is it at the same time of day???
- Figure out the reason why. If it is something you ALWAYS procrastinate, there may be an underlying reason.
- Visualize what life would be like if you didn’t procrastinate. Would there be more peace??? Less Chaos??? Would you be happy???
- Decide on 1-3 small changes that will help you make better habits.
- Implement these changes, and tell people what you’re doing. The more people know, the more likely you are to stick with it.
- Reassess after 3 weeks and add new changes to replace the ones that are now habits
So, as we start this week, my goal is to intentionally just do the things, instead of saying “in a minute”. I know this may not always be a possibility, but I am sure there are many times I could do it now instead of later. My challenge to you is to procrastinate less this week. Take some time to work through these tips, and here’s to a more peaceful rest of the year.
What are your tips for battling procrastination???